I think it's safe to say that after two months in this position and a week and a half of teaching library classes, that I'm actually getting into the swing of things.  It's not easy, but I've taught each of the three different classes I'll be teaching in various combinations at least twice.  The more I teach, the more I can tweak my lesson plans to make the 55, 80, and 120 minute classes more dynamic and less snore worthy.  I feel that I have been improving with each lesson, but I'm hitting a point where I can feel (somewhat achingly) exactly where my classes fall flat and I lose my class to texting, whispering, Facebooking, and dead eyes.  I teach tomorrow (8AM! On a Saturday!), Monday, and Tuesday night and then I have a brief break from teaching.  I hope to use that bit of down time to read some research and really brainstorm ways to make specific sections of my instruction better.  For example, there is one class about how to use the Web for research and how to evaluate what you find.  To be honest, I kind of loathe this class.  Everyone comes into it feeling like they already know how to use Google and I'm a super square for thinking otherwise.  I feel that I have their attention when we talk about the pros and cons of using the Web for research, when I show a video about how Google works behind the scenes, when I vandalize a Wikipedia page in front of them, and when I show that the third result when Googling "Martin Luther King" is actually a white supremacist site (and therefore don't just blindly use the top results of a search).  This is about the first 15 minutes of my class.  After that...it really drops off fast.  I need to work on this.  I know that.  And hopefully I'll have time to do it soon.

I still have no idea how long I'll be working.  Officially I'll be done at the end of December.  This also makes me want to get as perfect as possible ASAP because I need to milk this position for all it's worth until I'm given the boot.  I keep getting the impression that I'll be staying, but who knows for how long.  Or that's just wishful thinking that I'm inserting into the subtext of conversations.  I'd really like to stay...obviously.  But I have to start job hunting in a few weeks if I want to keep a steady income and keep Silas in daycare.  If I pull him out and then in a month I have another job, I'm screwed and cannot take him back to the daycare I love.  I'll be getting stressed soon, I'm sure. 

Silas is doing very well.  I feel that he loves being at daycare and he's slowly working on getting more social.  A caretaker told my husband that he and another boy played peek-a-boo with a cardboard house window and both just kept laughing each time they peek-a-booed.  I wish I could have seen that!  He is walking like a crazy man and is starting to try and run.  It makes me very nervous to see him running as fast as he can across the cement.  His fave thing right now is playing in spray parks...that are turned off for the season. I guess they're less scary this way!  So far I have not seem him fall face first, so...I guess that's good.  He's also crawling up playgrounds, but I don't think he realizes how hurt he would get if he walked off the edge.  Yes, he should know this, but he rarely looks down at his feet to make sure he's not going to fall off things.  Slides are the best and we're working on him not going down face first.  You'd think the face full of sand would be a deterrent, but it's an incentive.  Silly guy loves sand in his mouth.  He stands up in the middle of a room without assistance and is pretty much a pro at it.  I can't believe that just a mere two months ago he wasn't really walking.  Crazy. 

He's still not a big talker.  He says mama and dada, sure, when he feels like it.  He absolutely knows what shoes are and will point at them with a smile whenever you say the word.  He will say it back to you, again, when he feels like it.  I probably hear it once a day.  He can say hat, and loves to put anything on his head (a lid, a piece of pizza, a bucket full of sand).  I feel that he is starting to say "up" and has said egg before.  Sometimes it seems that he knows what a nose is (on someone elses' face...not his own) and I think he knows what a mouth is.  He absolutely knows what a "baby" is and will search for his baby if you ask him to and bring it to you.  Shaking his head NO is a favourite...even when it means yes.  But...that's about it.  It's progress, but it's slow.  I feel that in a month he might have a rush of new words, but who knows.  So far with milestones he has approached them very slowly and maybe a bit behind schedule, but when he finally reaches it he does it with confidence and quite quickly.  He refused to feed himself until he did and within three days he made very little mess.  He would not walk...and then within a week he was walking all over the house and would not sit down.  He is very careful with things and a bit of a perfectionist.  I'm sure I've written all about this before.  I wish he would talk more, but there's not much more I can do.  His caretakers are wonderful and I'm sure they blab at him all day.  I talk NONSTOP when I am around him and try to engage him in conversation.  The day he responds to one of my many questions will be the day my heart melts into a billion puddles. 

I suppose that catches things up.  On my mind are, as usual, money and the lack thereof...especially when December or the end of this job rolls around.  Jan 4 is our 10 year anniversary and I want to do something fun... but who knows.  And Silas is almost a year and a half which makes my mind jump to the stress of determining if we're going to try and make him a sibling soon or not which is hard considering the tedious footing I have at my job.  If I knew I would have a job where I work, I would put off making a sibling for Silas.  If I knew that my job was going to be over, I'd baby-make yesterday.  I just don't know where I stand and I really don't know when I'm going to know. 

A brief visit back from a long hiatus

Well, I made it through my two week instructor training, a few sessions of job shadowing, a mystery rash all over Silas' body, a day off work and the weekend being sick, and.......my first two teaching sessions.  Oh my!  I feel like I still have a few training wheels on as my supervisor has been in the room during both, but she did not say a word during my part the second time and it felt a lot more comfortable. 

Unfortunately, the mornings come early and my bedtimes increasingly earlier as well, so I guess I have to stop this entry before it starts.  But now I'm back to posting so it should be easier to pick up here where I leave off.  I'll be back in less than a month, I promise!  :)